The definitive guide to things I think about

We moved recently. Bought a house and all that. It is a swanky two bedroom flat replete with state-of-the-art facilities like floors, walls, and windows. There are a few doors here and there. There is even a kitchen and a balcony, and best of all—not one, but two bathrooms! No more walking to a neighbour’s lawn every morning with a jug of water and a bar of soap. I’m kidding of course. Where in Hyderabad can you find a neighbour with a lawn? I use the public parks. My wife has spent the last few weeks trying to turn this place into, for lack of a less-clichéd word, a ‘home’. She has shopped in places far and near, rich and poor, and robbed every salesman and saleswoman of patience and desire to live. Thanks to her efforts, and the best credit that money can buy, in addition to all the fancy accoutrements mentioned above, we now also have a shoe rack, a small sofa, and a bookshelf. The next step, I think, is to find a tailor and have uniforms stitched for our cook and maid. So...

When I published my previous blog post, I titled it With Two and a Half Women in America – Part One with the idea that there would be parts two, three, and more to follow. Clearly, I had underestimated my capacity for putting things off. In my defence, I did have a lot to do. I worked, ate, slept, occasionally bathed, and spent the rest of my time saving my daughter from certain doom as she tried to plunge from tables, sofas, and beds in our hotel room. However, I understand that this explanation may not mollify you. No doubt you checked my blog every day, even every hour perhaps, thirsting for my unique and insightful perspective on America—this remote nation, of which so little is known. I apologise. I will try to make up for it in this extra large blogpost. If you have been reading the newspapers, you already know that I am now back in Hyderabad. Just like the Indians did on our way out, the Americans gave us a warm send-off. As we tried to exit their country, they checke...

A few weeks ago, I decided that the time was ripe for me to bestow my gracious presence upon the United States of America. To tell you the truth, they have worked hard to deserve me. Over the last few years, they have shown considerable improvement in their economy, brought in sweeping healthcare reforms, and also, much to their credit, recovered from that terrible calamity—the Twilight series. I think. Of course, there were other minor factors that swayed the decision in America’s favour. For one thing, Suchita had to travel there for work and she felt she would need some support since we couldn’t bring along our cook, house maid, chamber maid, parlour maid, nanny, governess, or butler. I told Suchita flatly that while I was equal to the job, I in turn would need my own support system. So we packed my mother along with our bags (note that I say ‘along’ not ‘in’), put Sia in the cradle of her arm, and set out for the airport. Okay, okay. You are sharp. That is the condensed f...