Lat Mai Kai on our anniversary

Not that it was the defining moment of our anniversary. In fact, to be perfectly honest, it wasn’t even our anniversary really. It was the weekend before. I ended up having it quite by accident, huffing and puffing, while my wife watched in silent disgust. She is an animal lover you see.

Now, I hope you don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t like sheep with lipstick. Allow me to explain. January 28 is a day that I am not likely to forget, or be allowed to, for all the years to come. This year Suchita and I decided that since we were most likely to spend the big day at work, we should pre-pone the celebration by a few days.

So off we went, husband and wife, in a little blue car, to Aromas of China. There is one thing I feel duty-bound to say about Aromas of China. This Chinese restaurant in City Center has never failed us. There is always a place for two, and we always come out feeling fat and happy. The quality of any dish served is exactly proportional to the strangeness of its name.

And it is here that I began my affair with Lat-Mai-Kai. I found her right below Crispy Chicken in Lemon Sauce and above Chairman Mao’s Spicy Chicken. I kid you not. Check it out if you don’t believe me. So what exactly is Lat-Mai-Kai? A dancing woman from Thailand in a sarong? I wish. What it is is a whole bunch of chicken marinated overnight in a mixture of curd, spices and other things that I have no clue about.

At first Lat-Mai-Kai sounded like a punchline from an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie partially dubbed in Chinese or something. You can almost picture him holding a guy by his ankles over the edge of a cliff and belting out ‘Lat Mai Kai you son of a b****” before releasing him to certain death. But the waiter persisted with his recommendation, so I gave in. As it turned out, I was desperately hungry and wolfed down most of the Lat-Mai-Kai within five minutes of it being put on the table, topping it with pan-fried chicken noodles and finishing up with mango pudding. By the end of this sinful evening, I had done it again – chewed way more than I could digest. We hurried home hoping that the drive and a good night’s sleep would bring some sense of normalcy to my stomach.

But that was not to be. Lat-Mai-Kai refused to budge from her position. I am not a big fan of medicine, so I tossed and turned most of the night, hoping to shake my stomach into action. By morning, I was ready to swallow drainex (in retrospect I am happy no one suggested it). In desperation I tried push-ups, situps and a whole host of callisthenic exercises before giving up. Just when I was about to resign myself to this new relationship and accept the cruel hand of fate, I happened to look at the newspaper.

I don’t know if it was the fact that the Sensex had tumbled 200 points or the news that Salman Khan and Sohail Khan were having a spat, but something within me stirred. Old habits die hard – I should never have forgotten the fable of Pavlov’s dog. I rushed to the loo and relieved myself of the unwanted burden. Thank god it is now well and gone. Lat Mai Kai you son of a b****.

Comments

  1. seekingahaFebruary 4, 2010 at 8:11 PM

    A fantastically succulent Lat Mai Kai. I have a numerological perspective, that I insist on giving unsolicited. You should have given it some time, you see, 3 cube (one for each letter) results in 27, more than what you can digest. -Mallik

    ReplyDelete
  2. Arjun SenguptaFebruary 4, 2010 at 8:26 PM

    Ah yes. Of course. I should have known arithmetic would find new ways to screw me over :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownFebruary 16, 2010 at 3:00 PM

    Good to know that the writer in you (?!) is alive and kicking!

    ReplyDelete
  4. -=Bääk! säB ¢hhö®ö Bö£ö s!®f ä®ä=-October 24, 2014 at 9:27 PM

    Lat mai kai uses a leaf belonging to raddish family (muli) which many are allergic to...

    ReplyDelete

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