What I have been up to

This is a little late but that shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows me well. I have neglected this blog for a good three years now. When I started writing it, I felt a lot like a child with a new toy. I was fascinated with it and I couldn’t stop playing with it. For a while. Then I grew bored and found other, although not necessarily better, things to do. I am now trying to overcome that tendency and be more disciplined. Let’s see how far I can make it.

So anyway. What have I been up to? Not much. Just hanging out. Chilling. Making a baby. For those who have not kept abreast with world events, Suchita gave birth to our baby daughter on the 1^st of May this year. I have been meaning to write about her but I haven’t had the chance. I could say that the demands of fatherhood have kept me from it but that would be a lie. I haven’t got to it because I am lazy. On the credit side of the ledger, all this procrastination has made me older and wiser, so whatever drips from my wrinkled fingers onto the keyboard has got to be gold.

Coming back to our bundle of joy. We call her Sia. In some ways she is completely predictable. She has two eyes, a nose, a couple of ears and a mouth set on a spherical head. This head in turn is set on torso which bulges slightly around the belly. Also attached to the torso are a pair each of arms and legs. Each of these components is so exquisitely crafted and beautifully aligned, I almost want to pat myself on the back. But of course, Suchita has to be given some credit also. I don’t want to be unjust.

I joke. Everyone said Sia looked like me when she was born. But around about the time she learned to open her eyes and see the world, she started to look more and more like her mother. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that after seeing what both of us look like, she decided that life would be easier if she borrowed Suchita’s features and shed mine. I don’t blame her.

So what can I say about Sia? Every time Sia smiles, chortles, and moves her tiny limbs, we see unicorns leaping over rainbows, vast green meadows with little clusters of sheep, and butterflies fluttering around daisies. So in short imagine you are a hippie on acid at Woodstock. Or an especially naïve sheep farmer. That’s what it feels like to be around Sia.

Sia is a great listener. You can talk to her for hours and she will give you a patient ear, and although she may smile at the most inappropriate times, no matter what gibberish you tell her, she will not admonish you for it. This is a good thing because most people who meet her tend to tell her gibberish. Let me give you an example. When most people are introduced to her for the first time, instead of the customary “Hello, how do you do?”, they say “Oh god! What a cute little baby. Who’s a little baby? You are!” I need not point out to you that this constant stating of the obvious is a waste of time.

For my part, I think that I must try to use her talents better. I have decided that starting soon I will only discuss matters of grave importance with her, such as India’s current account deficit, the Syrian crisis, or the crass commercialization of IPL. I am only waiting till I myself have acquired some knowledge of these things.

However, not all is as perfect as it may seem. Sia has her flaws. She is not particularly good at walking or using the toilet or playing chess. Simple concepts such as gravity befuddle her. However, on this last count, we can give her some leeway because even Newton took some time to get his head under it.

Sia gets very emotional when she is hungry. Every two hours or so she will break into tears and despite all my encouragement, she refuses to call Pizza Hut Delivery. I know many of you will say “that’s just like a girl!” but I feel that that doesn’t quite explain it. The hunger affects her on a more visceral level.

Overall, though, I can’t complain. Fatherhood is not that difficult. Like most jobs in life, you simply have to delegate responsibility well. Only in this case, you can’t delegate it downward. You have to delegate it horizontally and upward. Suchita, her mom, and occasionally my parents do most of the leg work. I do what fathers and managers do best-make sure that everyone is synergized and on the same page. And then sit back and watch funny cat videos on Youtube.